Snow

Here is what I remember.

We had just sat down for the meeting, the eighth grade classroom teacher and myself.  Others had left to retrieve the remaining members of the team.

The teacher and I began to have idle conversation to warm up before the meeting.  We had never met before so we covered some basic topics such as how long we each had been in the system, the weather and so on.

We got to talking about the moment in the middle of that day it had begun to snow.  As we all know, this, of course, is not terribly surprising in January in New England.  Her students apparently all stopped their work to look at the snow, and she proudly reported to have said to the kids, "Never seen snow?" somewhat sarcastically.  After which, she claimed to have briskly and triumphantly directed them back to their seats so she could educate them.

Soon after, we learned the meeting would be postponed, a couple of essential members could not make the meeting.  The classroom teacher and I parted company with a good healthy handshake and returned to our duties.

I drove away from the building in the snow, now heavy and wet, thinking and feeling very sad.  Asking myself, why is it that our culture can't allow our children to look out the window and marvel at the snow?  Marvel at its simplicity, its grace, and the basic beauty of it?  Though this teacher and I could fill the time on the very same topic, we can't let our children pause and enjoy a quiet, joyful moment and foster a love of that moment of grace and connect with nature's presence?  And, how is it that sarcasm is thought to foster growth and well being, and stopping to marvel does not-where did we get that basic belief and why is it pervasive throughout our thinking, our perception on what is right for kids?  And, why didn't I say anything?

Next time will I share such thoughts with the teacher?  Or, will I be satisfied to pause with my own children and let them watch the snow?

What about you?

The Skills We Learned From Sleigh Riding

When I was a kid, and there was a snow day, we spent the entire day outside with all the children in the neighborhood.  Not just our friends, not our parents, we spent the day will all the children.  There was a massive hill that was very steep.  It happened also to be a road.  At the top of the road there was a terrific bend.  So, we had to position our sleighs with one child holding the sleigh while the other(s) loaded.  

When children today have a snow day, they may or may not spend some part of the day outside.  It is an orchestrated day.  A day that, though out of school and perhaps less structured, is supervised.  If there is sleigh riding, it is likely to be treated as a field trip.  Parents pack the bag making sure mittens and hats, boots and adequate outerwear are stuffed inside.  There might be a snack and perhaps lunch as well.  Friends who also attend may be hand picked, personalities matched and the numbers kept to a minimum.  The trip will take two or three hours if it is not too cold outside.

Out on the massive hill, it was most exciting when a car came.  CARRRR!  It wasn't often that a car came around the bend, up or down the hill but when it did, we were all on high alert.  One child was always put on the look out-their charge was to watch.  How the watch child was decided required some negotiations and turn taking.  And, we knew the rules.  If you were delegated the car watch, then you accepted that post with dignity and care.  Other children's lives were at stake.  The turn was up when you got too cold just standing there and your body needed to move to warm up.  All the children were well aware of amount of time that was fair and the call "I'm freezing!" usually initiated the re-negotiations.

Nowadays, it is best if there is a hill right in the back yard.  Not on a road, ploughs come through too often to be sure adults can get to work.  Adults are likely to be out with the children, supervising, making sure mittens and hats are secured tightly, jackets are zipped up and snapped, snow taken out of boots after a run and noses are wiped regularly.  Adults set the rules for the activities, act as referees, mediators and police the social exchanges.  Turn taking and sharing are mandated, structured and terms are established by the adults.  Our children today are safe.

There might have been as many as 25 children out on the massive hill on snow days.  Snow suits sometimes went over jammies, jackets not always zipped up.  Mittens seldom matched and hats, well, once we got moving they were likely to come off anyway so who needs a hat!  What did I learn from sleigh riding?  Are these skills that my children are learning?  

My children, dog and I were recently in a serious car accident.  The other driver crossed into my lane and because the road has no shoulders and there was oncoming traffic, there was no avoiding the head on collision.  We crashed.  I was OK.  I got out of the mini van.  My children were screaming.  The dog got out of the broken crate and was circling the inside of the car.  I went around to the passenger side to open the door.  The sliding door was jammed.  I looked at the front passenger door to see if it too was jammed and saw sparks.  The car was on fire!  I was then able to open the door, put the dog on the leash and usher my three children out.  My daughters lip and forehead were bleeding.  I had to get them away from the car.  We went around to the back of the van to cross the street.  The drivers behind me were trying to pass the accident!  I couldn't cross the road!  Passing the accident!  There was a man there, I called to him, "my car is on fire, we have to cross the road!"  Like a guardian angel, he stopped the traffic and we crossed the road and hid behind a tree and a stone grill.  We watched the van go up in flames.

What did I learn from sleigh riding?  If a kid slammed into a tree or mail box, everyone stopped what they were doing-EVERY ONE.  We all went to the scene to help.  Was there an injury, did someone need to go get a mom?  There was no question, no body ever went back to their important business ignoring the need to help the suffering, no one.